The Wrong People
The Wrong People – I love this quote by Dr. Henry Cloud. As the author of the Boundaries series, he has a firm grasp on how to set and maintain healthy boundaries with others and oneself. Give yourself permission to protect yourself from the harmful behavior of others and ultimately unsafe people. You can’t care for others effectively if your boundaries are consistently compromised.
What are your boundaries? Do you know? If not, you’re not alone. Many people have no idea where to draw the line because they don’t know where the line is. In order to begin identifying your limits, I suggest that you make a list of things that make you uncomfortable. This includes the actions and behaviors of others that create discomfort as well as behaviors that are completely unacceptable. Then, make a list of the behaviors and interactions that you appreciate in others. For example, you may appreciate when someone approaches you with a request rather than a demand.
Setting limits and establishing boundaries is often oversimplified when in reality, it can be very challenging. It’s not as if any of us learn this in school, from our parents, or life relationships. As a Clinician with 25 years of experience, I had to search for the information to build these skills AFTER I became a therapist. Today, there are a multitude of resources on this topic including books, seminars, webinars, CD’s, and DVD’s. Aspira Continuing Education offers book courses on Boundaries and Boundaries in Marriage at Mental Health Online Continuing Education Courses
Social Work Professionals, Marriage and Family Therapists, Licensed Professional Counselors, Registered Nurses, and Substance Abuse Counselors have a responsibility to integrate limit setting and assertiveness skill training into their clinical training. If you are a Social Worker, please visit Social Worker Continuing Education. Marriage and Family Therapists, please visit Marriage and Family Therapist Continuing Education.
I would love to read your comments below on the quote listed and boundaries in general. Thanks for reading and your time
Nicole Hiltibran, MA, LMFT