Do you agree with the above quote by Dr. Henry Cloud?
Emotional investment is defined as “Being emotionally invested means that you care about someone to the point that you are vulnerable to being hurt by them. Being emotionally invested isn’t something that we should jump into or to allow to happen lightly. Being emotionally invested isn’t just a romantic thing but can include family and friends. to have your emotions given, or ‘invested,’ towards someone or something.”
The importance of choosing safe people who demonstrate integrity cannot be underestimated. Those who focus on gaining the spotlight or who are emotional vampires tend to contribute very little (if anything) to relationships. Those who invest in looking good are often more self than other focused. Self focused individuals usually have a history of toxic and failed relationships.
So, how do you identify someone who cares more about doing good than looking good? Well, the most obvious initial answer is to avoid deep relationships with those who are consistently focused on receiving praise and attention from others. It’s usually fairly simple to spot those who “pull the attention” from any given group or gathering. These personalities are usually not malicious in any way but certainly lack ego strength. They can be exhausting and a magnet for codependency. Those who are more invested in doing good tend to avoid the spotlight, demonstrate humility, and posses a solid work ethic. I first developed an interest in dating my husband after I witnessed him quietly and discretely helping an old woman into her wheelchair. I am certain he thought nobody saw him, but I took notice.
So, the next time you are drawn to someone who consistently looks good rather than doing good, think twice. Perhaps there is someone in the background who really deserves to be in your inner circle.